Day 5 of DJT: Super Villain, Literally


I had this idea that I would write DJT a letter every day, for the first 100 days of his presidency. And then, today, he decided to re-open the Dakota Access Pipeline and Keystone XL pipeline.

And I was like, “Wha—?”

There’s no good economic reason–prices of oil have been slumping since the fall of 2015 because we really  don’t need that much oil anymore, what with fuel economy, and LED lighting, and all kinds of new tech, and  CLIMATE CHANGE!

These pipelines won’t create a lot of new jobs. Except in maybe Alberta, Canada.

And then I saw that Omarosa went on Frontline and said we all are going to have to bow down to President Trump. She basically admitted that he became “the most powerful man in the universe” for “the ultimate revenge.”


Well, if that isn’t typical super villain motivation, I just don’t know what is.

If you have the patience to read the whole transcript, you will see she admits that he’s “very Darth Vader-ish”.

Wait, doesn’t that just mean he’s like a super villain? Figuratively, not literally? Isn’t this a case of hyperbole?

Not really. Because if he succeeds in all his  plans, he will literally destroy the very planet we live on. And lots of people will die. People will die from climate change related super storms,  floods, and drought. Entire species will go extinct. Ecosystems will disappear.

Not to mention all the people who will die when their healthcare disappears as he guts the ACA. And let’s not forget the arms race he’s challenged crazy North Korea to.

I’m not just a crazy lone conspiracy theorist. Check out the bunkers the super wealthy are  building for themselves, because they’re pretty sure we’re all going down.

And all of this, just for revenge.

So I didn’t write my letter. Because today I am just too heartsick. But tomorrow, I meet with my neighbors and join the Rebel Alliance. May the Force be with us.


Dear DJT: It’s Time to Make Amends


I was going to write to you about divesting, but it seems like you’ve already had a pretty bad couple of days. With the whole thing about the Women’s March vs your Inauguration…I know it hit you in your sore spot. You always have been sensitive about size. Fingers, polls, whatever…

After the pictures were viewed and the facts were altered, I heard a lot of anger coming from your camp.

You sounded kind of resentful.

Listen, I’ve been there. Resentful, hurting. Wondering why so many are attacking you. It was hard for me to realize my part in creating my own pain. But as they say, the truth will set you free. You probably noticed that on the wall of the CIA headquarters the other day, right?

Wiser heads than mine recommend that when you’re feeling resentful, it’s time to make amends.

You’re probably saying: What the what? Shouldn’t everyone be apologizing to me?

Turns out, we resent people because we harmed them and feel guilty about it now. And that guilt keeps us up at night, feeding our Twitter addictions, making us take calls from foreign leaders without consulting our advisors, which we all know isn’t healthy.

So Donald, it’s time for steps 8 &9.

Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Let me help you here: Seems to me that you should include the following on your amends list: Women, people of color, civil rights leaders, John Lewis, Meryl Streep, anyone who didn’t vote for you,  Democrats, LGBTQ people, people who care about women or LGBTQ people, Muslims, the media, Mexicans, or people who care about Muslims, the media, or Mexicans, scientists, people who care about science and/or believe in it, the cast of Hamilton, and most artists in any of the arts.

Step 9: Made direct amends wherever possible, except to when to do so would injure them or others. 

With this step, you’re luckier than most. You can just make a speech and everyone will hear it–you don’t have to write each of us a letter, or make a 9th step call. You can just say, “Hey, Americans? World? I’ve said some pretty hurtful things through the years and I realize now how wrong I was. I spoke and tweeted without thinking. I’m sorry. I promise to do better from now on. I promise to THINK before I speak: I will ask myself is it:

  • Thoughtful?
  • Honest?
  • Intelligent?
  • Necessary?
  • Kind?

And if it isn’t, I will keep that comment or tweet to myself.”

Now, that’s just the apology part. The true amends comes when you actually change your behavior. Which we all kinda hoped you’d do when you got into office. I don’t know why we thought that was going to be some kind of magic bullet–but we were trying to, as your supporters say, “Give you a chance.”

Well, here’s your chance: Be a president to everyone.



Not just white male billionaires, not just people who love you, not just people who roll over and say yes all the time. That wasn’t the job you signed up for: to be president for 26% of all eligible voters who voted for you. (Yes, look it up, it was really that low-sorry, another size thing.)

It’s time to put all that argumentative, petty stuff away. It’s time to be the bigger man and extend that hand in amends.